I think this is every pregnant woman's dream- to have people say to you, "You're all belly."
I am not all belly. I have gained a little weight in my arms and a decent widening of my hips and butt have occurred. The last few weeks though it is just my belly that is growing out and out and out. I like it for the most part, looking really pregnant instead of chubby vs. pregnant but I am starting to feel like there is no more room between my rib cage and pelvis. At the end of the day I just feel so full and get this pain in my right upper abdomen.
Yesterday, I was post-call... I was up most of the night before trying to get 2 kids to stop seizing and awake for most of 36 hours + pregnancy is not a good emotional combination. Last night in my exhausted state I just broke down... I started telling my husband I didn't know how I was going to make it three more months feeling this big and that there is just no more room. He looks over at me and says, "Are you crying?" Yes... I was crying. Exhaustion and raging hormones will do that to you. I called it a night and I am fine today. This is just harder than I thought sometimes. I love being pregnant, but being a medical resident working a ton of hours, having constant work pressure and serious chronic fatigue makes some days really, really hard.
I have been trying to focus on all my nesting activities. It makes me feel like I am accomplishing things and that someday I'll feel ready for their arrival. I am currently in the process of making 2 quilts. I don't exactly know how to sew...my mother bought me a sewing machine for Christmas and I've finally dragged it out of the box. I am pretty excited to be making things with my own hands for our babies but a little scared of how wonky they may look. Made with love is what counts right?
I am slowly checking things off the nursery list:
The room is painted, cribs assembled and with mattresses, changing table set up.
I painted the closet 2 weekends ago and the hubby helped me hang a second rod with a shelf on top last weekend to accommodate all their tiny clothes :)
We have 2 built in dressers in the room (our house is a cape cod with such charming little features). One of them got new knobs and I got this awesome wallpaper to line the drawers with.
My mom gave me a little table to use next to the glider which I need to paint.
We ordered a chair and a half glider which should be here in May.
I need to finish my quilts and I am contemplating making 1 or 2 black and white mobiles for either above the cribs or above the changing table.
I ordered this awesome print from Etsy which I'm planning to put with this Hammerpress print, a cute mirror, and a little birdhouse I am painting in a collection above a little bookshelf.
I also want to get big wood or cardboard letters (the first letter of each of their names) to decorate somehow and hang above each crib.
Things are coming together... I will post pictures eventually when it is looking all calm and soothing and pretty just as I picture it in my head. It's shaping up to be my favorite room in our house.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Thursday, March 13, 2014
2 lb 11 oz of Baby on Board and Almost Viable :)
We had our 24 week appointment and ultrasound this week! I have realized I am getting spoiled with these frequent ultrasounds and probably won't know what to do if I ever have a singleton in the future.
Our babies looked great once again. Baby A weighing in at 1 lb 6 oz, still a girl and currently head down. I gave her a little pep talk to kindly stay that way for the next 3-3 1/2 months. Baby B weighing in at 1 lb 5 oz, also still a girl and yawning and then later sucking her thumb. Ahhh... love is seeing these babies do those normal baby things... makes it feel all the more real. I can't wrap my brain around 2 babies arriving in about 3 months- it is just too good to actually be true. Until they are placed in my arms I don't think it's really going to sink in.
I will be 25 weeks on Sunday... viability. This makes me incredibly happy but also anxious to get through the next 3 weeks because 28 weeks is infinitely better for baby brains and lungs than 25 weeks. I have no reason to think they'll come that early... just 3 months of working in the NICU during the past 3 years and seeing lots of itty bitty twins. So for now I'm just going to be thankful for each week that passes and they grow bigger and stronger.
I have my glucose tolerance test next week and am then going on a mission to get Tdaps for myself, my hubby and all close family members. No pertussis exposures for these babies...
I swear I am going to try my hardest to not be a crazy mom... haha... try being the operative word.
Our babies looked great once again. Baby A weighing in at 1 lb 6 oz, still a girl and currently head down. I gave her a little pep talk to kindly stay that way for the next 3-3 1/2 months. Baby B weighing in at 1 lb 5 oz, also still a girl and yawning and then later sucking her thumb. Ahhh... love is seeing these babies do those normal baby things... makes it feel all the more real. I can't wrap my brain around 2 babies arriving in about 3 months- it is just too good to actually be true. Until they are placed in my arms I don't think it's really going to sink in.
I will be 25 weeks on Sunday... viability. This makes me incredibly happy but also anxious to get through the next 3 weeks because 28 weeks is infinitely better for baby brains and lungs than 25 weeks. I have no reason to think they'll come that early... just 3 months of working in the NICU during the past 3 years and seeing lots of itty bitty twins. So for now I'm just going to be thankful for each week that passes and they grow bigger and stronger.
I have my glucose tolerance test next week and am then going on a mission to get Tdaps for myself, my hubby and all close family members. No pertussis exposures for these babies...
I swear I am going to try my hardest to not be a crazy mom... haha... try being the operative word.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
The Latest Happenings
Now that that's off my chest I figure I owe you all a real update...
I am now 21 weeks & 4 days... 3 weeks away from viability, 6 weeks from a good chance at healthy babies, and probably 3-3 1/2 months from their arrival. It feels so close & so far at the same time.
We had our anatomy scan at 18 weeks & 3 days. The babies looked beautiful- measuring on target at 17 week & 5 days, weighing 8 oz each. Their brains looked perfect & their hearts had 4 chambers just as they should. My low lying placenta also resolved. All is well in my uterus which is such a great relief. We finally decided to find our their genders (well I decided & my husband obliged) and we are having two absolutely perfect little girls. We are thrilled! I was definitely surprised but we are truly happy to have two healthy little ones on the way (the girls or boys part was so much less important).
The past 2 weeks I have been feeling them move all the time which is at the top of my list of most amazing things I will ever experience. I kept having my husband put his hand on my belly but he really didn't think he could feel them until a few nights ago when he felt them kick (or punch?) several times. That was awesome too- having him finally feel them. It is real. This is really happening. We are so damn lucky.
In the interest of being honest- I have had some not so desirable preganancy symptoms. I have had some intermittent leaking of colostrum... I actually just looked down after feeling a wet spot on my shirt at this very moment- so hot. I'm sure my hubby loves this. Luckily it has occurred in the evenings so far- no embarrassing spots at work. I also dry heaved a whole shower at 18 weeks which was long after I thought the nausea & vomiting had left for good.
We also started working on the nursery which has been so fun. We have 2 cribs & the changing table set up. I painted the room a long time ago with a nursery in mind but I plan on painting the closet (which is bright yellow) this weekend & then making it baby friendly- adding an extra bar & a shelf. We ordered an amazing chair and a half glider which won't be here until May but makes me happy to daydream about. I have big ideas for art & hope to make home made black & white mobiles- we'll see how my crazy schedule allows for me to fulfill all these dreams as their arrival quickly approaches.
Finally my hubby secured an attending job for August & is going to delay his fellowship until January to be able to spend more time with the babies & I in their first 6 months. The timing of this pregnancy has worked out better than I could have imagined. Since he will finish his residency at the end of June (when we are due) he has a week of vacation to take that month & then is going to take all of July off and we will just live on my salary for 1 month until he starts as an attending (and his salary quadruples) in August.
Basically we are blessed beyond measure.
I am now 21 weeks & 4 days... 3 weeks away from viability, 6 weeks from a good chance at healthy babies, and probably 3-3 1/2 months from their arrival. It feels so close & so far at the same time.
We had our anatomy scan at 18 weeks & 3 days. The babies looked beautiful- measuring on target at 17 week & 5 days, weighing 8 oz each. Their brains looked perfect & their hearts had 4 chambers just as they should. My low lying placenta also resolved. All is well in my uterus which is such a great relief. We finally decided to find our their genders (well I decided & my husband obliged) and we are having two absolutely perfect little girls. We are thrilled! I was definitely surprised but we are truly happy to have two healthy little ones on the way (the girls or boys part was so much less important).
The past 2 weeks I have been feeling them move all the time which is at the top of my list of most amazing things I will ever experience. I kept having my husband put his hand on my belly but he really didn't think he could feel them until a few nights ago when he felt them kick (or punch?) several times. That was awesome too- having him finally feel them. It is real. This is really happening. We are so damn lucky.
In the interest of being honest- I have had some not so desirable preganancy symptoms. I have had some intermittent leaking of colostrum... I actually just looked down after feeling a wet spot on my shirt at this very moment- so hot. I'm sure my hubby loves this. Luckily it has occurred in the evenings so far- no embarrassing spots at work. I also dry heaved a whole shower at 18 weeks which was long after I thought the nausea & vomiting had left for good.
We also started working on the nursery which has been so fun. We have 2 cribs & the changing table set up. I painted the room a long time ago with a nursery in mind but I plan on painting the closet (which is bright yellow) this weekend & then making it baby friendly- adding an extra bar & a shelf. We ordered an amazing chair and a half glider which won't be here until May but makes me happy to daydream about. I have big ideas for art & hope to make home made black & white mobiles- we'll see how my crazy schedule allows for me to fulfill all these dreams as their arrival quickly approaches.
Finally my hubby secured an attending job for August & is going to delay his fellowship until January to be able to spend more time with the babies & I in their first 6 months. The timing of this pregnancy has worked out better than I could have imagined. Since he will finish his residency at the end of June (when we are due) he has a week of vacation to take that month & then is going to take all of July off and we will just live on my salary for 1 month until he starts as an attending (and his salary quadruples) in August.
Basically we are blessed beyond measure.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
The Other Side of the Tracks
I haven't posted in nearly a month... sorry for the radio silence. Allow me to explain...
I still find this whole being pregnant thing odd. To be one of the ones I was jealous of and sometimes bitter toward for so many months. It makes me nervous to post here how I'm feeling- good or bad. It makes me think I should never have a single negative thought or feeling about pregnancy which as much as I would love to be true is simply an impossibility. This is not to say that I am not thankful and appreciative and happy every single day. That goes without saying. It's just that there are moments when I feel sick or tired or huge and sometimes I feel immense guilt about not loving even 1% of this.
The hubby and I have 1 real life couple we have be come very close to over the past year who have also had difficulties conceiving. They are also both physicians and due to the aforementioned medical match system had to spend the last 3 years (until July) living in different cities several hours apart. After deciding they wanted to start trying to conceive, she did not have a menstrual cycle for many months even with meds to induce. We initially knew her husband much better than her but she's been here for 7-8 months now and she and I had talked some in the summer/fall about TTC and our frustrations ect. I had noticed in the fall that she wasn't having beers when we went out and brought it up to my hubby. Maybe they are pregnant too I had hoped but I never would have directly asked. Then a few weeks ago we were out bowling with them and I guess my hubby asked and sadly found out they had miscarried at 11 weeks (back in November). Our hearts were broken for them... my hubby who had had quite a few drinks at this point teared up and was really sad about it all night. Unfortunately, her miscarriage has been a drawn out and I'm sure a challenging/frustrating experience- she has undergone 2 D&Cs and Methotrexate... and after 3 months still has a detectable beta. I just want it to be over for them so they can move forward.
Finding this out has just made me think more and feel more self conscious about our pregnancy and good fortune. I know they are excited and happy for us and her husband told me repeatedly not to be afraid to talk about my pregnancy, that they love hearing about it and want to babysit for us in the future... but I don't want to be that person rubbing it in their face. I know how it feels to be the one in that position- so happy for your friend but so sad for yourself at the same time.
I want to find a balance in talking with them about our babies but it is hard. I am so happy and so excited and babies fill so many of my waking (and sleeping) thoughts.
I like to think that I am sensitive about the situation but I am not naïve enough to believe that I don't ever make mistakes or say things that may make them cringe.
It is strange... finding myself on the other side of the tracks.
I still find this whole being pregnant thing odd. To be one of the ones I was jealous of and sometimes bitter toward for so many months. It makes me nervous to post here how I'm feeling- good or bad. It makes me think I should never have a single negative thought or feeling about pregnancy which as much as I would love to be true is simply an impossibility. This is not to say that I am not thankful and appreciative and happy every single day. That goes without saying. It's just that there are moments when I feel sick or tired or huge and sometimes I feel immense guilt about not loving even 1% of this.
The hubby and I have 1 real life couple we have be come very close to over the past year who have also had difficulties conceiving. They are also both physicians and due to the aforementioned medical match system had to spend the last 3 years (until July) living in different cities several hours apart. After deciding they wanted to start trying to conceive, she did not have a menstrual cycle for many months even with meds to induce. We initially knew her husband much better than her but she's been here for 7-8 months now and she and I had talked some in the summer/fall about TTC and our frustrations ect. I had noticed in the fall that she wasn't having beers when we went out and brought it up to my hubby. Maybe they are pregnant too I had hoped but I never would have directly asked. Then a few weeks ago we were out bowling with them and I guess my hubby asked and sadly found out they had miscarried at 11 weeks (back in November). Our hearts were broken for them... my hubby who had had quite a few drinks at this point teared up and was really sad about it all night. Unfortunately, her miscarriage has been a drawn out and I'm sure a challenging/frustrating experience- she has undergone 2 D&Cs and Methotrexate... and after 3 months still has a detectable beta. I just want it to be over for them so they can move forward.
Finding this out has just made me think more and feel more self conscious about our pregnancy and good fortune. I know they are excited and happy for us and her husband told me repeatedly not to be afraid to talk about my pregnancy, that they love hearing about it and want to babysit for us in the future... but I don't want to be that person rubbing it in their face. I know how it feels to be the one in that position- so happy for your friend but so sad for yourself at the same time.
I want to find a balance in talking with them about our babies but it is hard. I am so happy and so excited and babies fill so many of my waking (and sleeping) thoughts.
I like to think that I am sensitive about the situation but I am not naïve enough to believe that I don't ever make mistakes or say things that may make them cringe.
It is strange... finding myself on the other side of the tracks.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Trip Review and Decisions
My last day of vacation is tomorrow... it has been long and wonderful. I've been off since 1/9 and just found out today that tomorrow is a work holiday for me thus a bonus day of vacation!
We went to Orlando for the first 5 days of our vacay, initially planning to run a race (discussed here), but shin splints and then babies got in the way of those plans so we just hung out in Florida instead. We rented a house with my brother-in-law, SIL (the crazy), and their 3 children. I was worried about this trip, that it would be anything but relaxing. All I can say is thank god I was pregnant. Between my SIL's neuroses and new 4 month old baby and the general number of babies and pregnant women in Orlando I would not have survived this trip 6 months ago.
As I've explained before my SIL talks a lot and in the process says many moronic and obliviously hurtful things. She was the only one when we announced we were having twins to ask, "And not through fertility treatments or anything?" Which I have to admit was better than "Do twins run in your family?" but I still felt was a bit intrusive. I had no trouble telling her the truth especially since she had been so ignorant about infertility when I was struggling the most during our visit with them a year ago. As we talked about my pregnancy and the twins this week she actually said, "Yea, I've had multiple friends have twins through IVF and infertility treatments but I just really don't know much about that since we got pregnant on our first, third, and first tries." Really?! If you have so many friends with fertility issues maybe you should find some more empathy for them and for us.
Ahhh... okay enough ranting now just had to share my frustration. I don't think the hubby always understands why this gets to me. It always will. I don't want people to experience infertility and I know that we got through it easier than many but I do expect people to have a degree of common sense and love and empathy toward their family members/friends.
Otherwise the trip was great. My nephew and nieces are pretty awesome kids and I got a hefty baby fix with their little one giggling at me and falling asleep on my chest. The hubby and I had enough alone time to keep my sanity intact. We went to Animal Kingdom (I had never been to any Disney parks) and it was pretty amazing. They have a safari which was really cool (we are definitely zoo people) and the Bug's Life 4D movie was fun too. Then I surprised myself. We watched the parade of all the characters through the park at the end of the day and I got a little choked up. I have never been too into Disney but there was something magical about it and I just stood there thinking about how unbelievably lucky we are to be able to share this (and all the other amazing sights in this world) with our kids in the future. I don't think I will ever take for granted this gift we have been given.
In other news, we decided to forego any prenatal testing. I had CF carrier testing and was negative before we started trying to conceive but from what I've read the Tri/Quad Screen blood tests can be falsely positive with twins just due to the 2 babies so we have opted out. We both knew we would not want to take even the relatively small risks of an amnio so if our blood work was positive I would just worry for the next 6 months. Our anatomy ultrasound is in 10 days so fingers crossed our babies still look healthy with 4 chamber hearts and normal brains.
We went to Orlando for the first 5 days of our vacay, initially planning to run a race (discussed here), but shin splints and then babies got in the way of those plans so we just hung out in Florida instead. We rented a house with my brother-in-law, SIL (the crazy), and their 3 children. I was worried about this trip, that it would be anything but relaxing. All I can say is thank god I was pregnant. Between my SIL's neuroses and new 4 month old baby and the general number of babies and pregnant women in Orlando I would not have survived this trip 6 months ago.
As I've explained before my SIL talks a lot and in the process says many moronic and obliviously hurtful things. She was the only one when we announced we were having twins to ask, "And not through fertility treatments or anything?" Which I have to admit was better than "Do twins run in your family?" but I still felt was a bit intrusive. I had no trouble telling her the truth especially since she had been so ignorant about infertility when I was struggling the most during our visit with them a year ago. As we talked about my pregnancy and the twins this week she actually said, "Yea, I've had multiple friends have twins through IVF and infertility treatments but I just really don't know much about that since we got pregnant on our first, third, and first tries." Really?! If you have so many friends with fertility issues maybe you should find some more empathy for them and for us.
Ahhh... okay enough ranting now just had to share my frustration. I don't think the hubby always understands why this gets to me. It always will. I don't want people to experience infertility and I know that we got through it easier than many but I do expect people to have a degree of common sense and love and empathy toward their family members/friends.
Otherwise the trip was great. My nephew and nieces are pretty awesome kids and I got a hefty baby fix with their little one giggling at me and falling asleep on my chest. The hubby and I had enough alone time to keep my sanity intact. We went to Animal Kingdom (I had never been to any Disney parks) and it was pretty amazing. They have a safari which was really cool (we are definitely zoo people) and the Bug's Life 4D movie was fun too. Then I surprised myself. We watched the parade of all the characters through the park at the end of the day and I got a little choked up. I have never been too into Disney but there was something magical about it and I just stood there thinking about how unbelievably lucky we are to be able to share this (and all the other amazing sights in this world) with our kids in the future. I don't think I will ever take for granted this gift we have been given.
In other news, we decided to forego any prenatal testing. I had CF carrier testing and was negative before we started trying to conceive but from what I've read the Tri/Quad Screen blood tests can be falsely positive with twins just due to the 2 babies so we have opted out. We both knew we would not want to take even the relatively small risks of an amnio so if our blood work was positive I would just worry for the next 6 months. Our anatomy ultrasound is in 10 days so fingers crossed our babies still look healthy with 4 chamber hearts and normal brains.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
I Should Worry Less
Sorry to leave you hanging... it was an emotional Sunday.
I ended up calling back to the doc on call for my practice who I unfortunately have never met (or fortunately I guess). She was not the most reassuring and that's what I needed at the time, just some reassurance. When I called back and told her the spotting hadn't worsened but I thought I was maybe having some cramping and admitted that part of that feeling was probably due to anxiety she responded, "Well do you want to come in to check for a heart beat on the baby?"
I was immediately offended that she said baby not babies... I had told her I was pregnant with twins multiple times. I know she hasn't met me and doesn't know the details of my pregnancy but I had just told her. I wanted her to tell me what to do or what to think, not leave it up to me. I know I am a ball of anxiety sometimes and my medical knowledge has worsened my fears during this pregnancy but that is her job... to reassure and explain. So I told her "Yea I think so" and we left for the hospital.
I honestly felt stupid as soon as we got in the car. Her response made me feel stupid. Me knowing in the back of my head the spotting was probably nothing but needing that reassurance made me feel stupid. We checked in at the hospital and waited for almost 2 hours before being put in an OB triage room. Then... they told me the room was too small and wouldn't let my husband come back. Really?! He is my sanity in these moments. I am much more likely to lose it without him.
So then they come in ask me a few questions, take my vitals, then say they'll do a doppler to check the fetal heart tones. She finds one baby after a long search and repeatedly finding my own heart beat. I then say again (as I had told them when I checked in), "It's twins." "Ohh! Well we'll never be able to be sure we have found both with this," the nurse responds. Ugh. So they go to get the ultrasound machine and then decide finally that the room is in fact big enough (now with a huge machine that wasn't there before) and let my sanity back with me. One of the OB residents came in and quickly (thank god), found both babies, and visualized each heart beating strong.
Even though the whole experience made me feel slightly stupid, I am glad that we went. It allowed me to sleep that night. The spotting lasted through Monday and stopped yesterday. I had my regular 14 week appt yesterday and all seems to still be going well. I really liked the OB that I saw and she allowed plenty of time for all my questions and made me feel less looney. I am in a group of 6 OBs so they try to have you see everyone so you feel comfortable with whoever ends up delivering your baby/ies.
In good news... I scheduled my next visit with the anatomy ultrasound. My hubby is backtracking on our decision to find out the sexes so we have a month to figure that out but the more important thing is making sure they look healthy which will hopefully provide me with some reassurance. I really want to start enjoying this pregnancy and worrying less.
Maybe that should be my new years resolution?
I ended up calling back to the doc on call for my practice who I unfortunately have never met (or fortunately I guess). She was not the most reassuring and that's what I needed at the time, just some reassurance. When I called back and told her the spotting hadn't worsened but I thought I was maybe having some cramping and admitted that part of that feeling was probably due to anxiety she responded, "Well do you want to come in to check for a heart beat on the baby?"
I was immediately offended that she said baby not babies... I had told her I was pregnant with twins multiple times. I know she hasn't met me and doesn't know the details of my pregnancy but I had just told her. I wanted her to tell me what to do or what to think, not leave it up to me. I know I am a ball of anxiety sometimes and my medical knowledge has worsened my fears during this pregnancy but that is her job... to reassure and explain. So I told her "Yea I think so" and we left for the hospital.
I honestly felt stupid as soon as we got in the car. Her response made me feel stupid. Me knowing in the back of my head the spotting was probably nothing but needing that reassurance made me feel stupid. We checked in at the hospital and waited for almost 2 hours before being put in an OB triage room. Then... they told me the room was too small and wouldn't let my husband come back. Really?! He is my sanity in these moments. I am much more likely to lose it without him.
So then they come in ask me a few questions, take my vitals, then say they'll do a doppler to check the fetal heart tones. She finds one baby after a long search and repeatedly finding my own heart beat. I then say again (as I had told them when I checked in), "It's twins." "Ohh! Well we'll never be able to be sure we have found both with this," the nurse responds. Ugh. So they go to get the ultrasound machine and then decide finally that the room is in fact big enough (now with a huge machine that wasn't there before) and let my sanity back with me. One of the OB residents came in and quickly (thank god), found both babies, and visualized each heart beating strong.
Even though the whole experience made me feel slightly stupid, I am glad that we went. It allowed me to sleep that night. The spotting lasted through Monday and stopped yesterday. I had my regular 14 week appt yesterday and all seems to still be going well. I really liked the OB that I saw and she allowed plenty of time for all my questions and made me feel less looney. I am in a group of 6 OBs so they try to have you see everyone so you feel comfortable with whoever ends up delivering your baby/ies.
In good news... I scheduled my next visit with the anatomy ultrasound. My hubby is backtracking on our decision to find out the sexes so we have a month to figure that out but the more important thing is making sure they look healthy which will hopefully provide me with some reassurance. I really want to start enjoying this pregnancy and worrying less.
Maybe that should be my new years resolution?
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Scared
I am having some brown spotting today. I have never had this before.
It is really freaking me out.
It's been a small amount so far & no cramping or pain but I am scared. Really scared. I am 14 weeks today. And we told the whole world this past week about these two little loves. I don't know what I'd do if something happened.
I called my doc's urgent line & she told me that if its been a small amt & no cramping or pain to just take it easy today but call back if there is more bleeding or something changes. I have an appt Tuesday and she said if it is just the tiniest amount of spotting to just keep that appointment but if any more than that I need to call her back.
It doesn't seem to be getting more but just persistent & not stopping. I think I am going to go shower & call her again. I don't think I can make it through the rest of the day like this & then 2 more days. I am really really afraid. I love these guys so much.
Please just let nothing be wrong.
It is really freaking me out.
It's been a small amount so far & no cramping or pain but I am scared. Really scared. I am 14 weeks today. And we told the whole world this past week about these two little loves. I don't know what I'd do if something happened.
I called my doc's urgent line & she told me that if its been a small amt & no cramping or pain to just take it easy today but call back if there is more bleeding or something changes. I have an appt Tuesday and she said if it is just the tiniest amount of spotting to just keep that appointment but if any more than that I need to call her back.
It doesn't seem to be getting more but just persistent & not stopping. I think I am going to go shower & call her again. I don't think I can make it through the rest of the day like this & then 2 more days. I am really really afraid. I love these guys so much.
Please just let nothing be wrong.
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