Sorry to leave you hanging... it was an emotional Sunday.
I ended up calling back to the doc on call for my practice who I unfortunately have never met (or fortunately I guess). She was not the most reassuring and that's what I needed at the time, just some reassurance. When I called back and told her the spotting hadn't worsened but I thought I was maybe having some cramping and admitted that part of that feeling was probably due to anxiety she responded, "Well do you want to come in to check for a heart beat on the baby?"
I was immediately offended that she said baby not babies... I had told her I was pregnant with twins multiple times. I know she hasn't met me and doesn't know the details of my pregnancy but I had just told her. I wanted her to tell me what to do or what to think, not leave it up to me. I know I am a ball of anxiety sometimes and my medical knowledge has worsened my fears during this pregnancy but that is her job... to reassure and explain. So I told her "Yea I think so" and we left for the hospital.
I honestly felt stupid as soon as we got in the car. Her response made me feel stupid. Me knowing in the back of my head the spotting was probably nothing but needing that reassurance made me feel stupid. We checked in at the hospital and waited for almost 2 hours before being put in an OB triage room. Then... they told me the room was too small and wouldn't let my husband come back. Really?! He is my sanity in these moments. I am much more likely to lose it without him.
So then they come in ask me a few questions, take my vitals, then say they'll do a doppler to check the fetal heart tones. She finds one baby after a long search and repeatedly finding my own heart beat. I then say again (as I had told them when I checked in), "It's twins." "Ohh! Well we'll never be able to be sure we have found both with this," the nurse responds. Ugh. So they go to get the ultrasound machine and then decide finally that the room is in fact big enough (now with a huge machine that wasn't there before) and let my sanity back with me. One of the OB residents came in and quickly (thank god), found both babies, and visualized each heart beating strong.
Even though the whole experience made me feel slightly stupid, I am glad that we went. It allowed me to sleep that night. The spotting lasted through Monday and stopped yesterday. I had my regular 14 week appt yesterday and all seems to still be going well. I really liked the OB that I saw and she allowed plenty of time for all my questions and made me feel less looney. I am in a group of 6 OBs so they try to have you see everyone so you feel comfortable with whoever ends up delivering your baby/ies.
In good news... I scheduled my next visit with the anatomy ultrasound. My hubby is backtracking on our decision to find out the sexes so we have a month to figure that out but the more important thing is making sure they look healthy which will hopefully provide me with some reassurance. I really want to start enjoying this pregnancy and worrying less.
Maybe that should be my new years resolution?
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