My last day of vacation is tomorrow... it has been long and wonderful. I've been off since 1/9 and just found out today that tomorrow is a work holiday for me thus a bonus day of vacation!
We went to Orlando for the first 5 days of our vacay, initially planning to run a race (discussed here), but shin splints and then babies got in the way of those plans so we just hung out in Florida instead. We rented a house with my brother-in-law, SIL (the crazy), and their 3 children. I was worried about this trip, that it would be anything but relaxing. All I can say is thank god I was pregnant. Between my SIL's neuroses and new 4 month old baby and the general number of babies and pregnant women in Orlando I would not have survived this trip 6 months ago.
As I've explained before my SIL talks a lot and in the process says many moronic and obliviously hurtful things. She was the only one when we announced we were having twins to ask, "And not through fertility treatments or anything?" Which I have to admit was better than "Do twins run in your family?" but I still felt was a bit intrusive. I had no trouble telling her the truth especially since she had been so ignorant about infertility when I was struggling the most during our visit with them a year ago. As we talked about my pregnancy and the twins this week she actually said, "Yea, I've had multiple friends have twins through IVF and infertility treatments but I just really don't know much about that since we got pregnant on our first, third, and first tries." Really?! If you have so many friends with fertility issues maybe you should find some more empathy for them and for us.
Ahhh... okay enough ranting now just had to share my frustration. I don't think the hubby always understands why this gets to me. It always will. I don't want people to experience infertility and I know that we got through it easier than many but I do expect people to have a degree of common sense and love and empathy toward their family members/friends.
Otherwise the trip was great. My nephew and nieces are pretty awesome kids and I got a hefty baby fix with their little one giggling at me and falling asleep on my chest. The hubby and I had enough alone time to keep my sanity intact. We went to Animal Kingdom (I had never been to any Disney parks) and it was pretty amazing. They have a safari which was really cool (we are definitely zoo people) and the Bug's Life 4D movie was fun too. Then I surprised myself. We watched the parade of all the characters through the park at the end of the day and I got a little choked up. I have never been too into Disney but there was something magical about it and I just stood there thinking about how unbelievably lucky we are to be able to share this (and all the other amazing sights in this world) with our kids in the future. I don't think I will ever take for granted this gift we have been given.
In other news, we decided to forego any prenatal testing. I had CF carrier testing and was negative before we started trying to conceive but from what I've read the Tri/Quad Screen blood tests can be falsely positive with twins just due to the 2 babies so we have opted out. We both knew we would not want to take even the relatively small risks of an amnio so if our blood work was positive I would just worry for the next 6 months. Our anatomy ultrasound is in 10 days so fingers crossed our babies still look healthy with 4 chamber hearts and normal brains.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
I Should Worry Less
Sorry to leave you hanging... it was an emotional Sunday.
I ended up calling back to the doc on call for my practice who I unfortunately have never met (or fortunately I guess). She was not the most reassuring and that's what I needed at the time, just some reassurance. When I called back and told her the spotting hadn't worsened but I thought I was maybe having some cramping and admitted that part of that feeling was probably due to anxiety she responded, "Well do you want to come in to check for a heart beat on the baby?"
I was immediately offended that she said baby not babies... I had told her I was pregnant with twins multiple times. I know she hasn't met me and doesn't know the details of my pregnancy but I had just told her. I wanted her to tell me what to do or what to think, not leave it up to me. I know I am a ball of anxiety sometimes and my medical knowledge has worsened my fears during this pregnancy but that is her job... to reassure and explain. So I told her "Yea I think so" and we left for the hospital.
I honestly felt stupid as soon as we got in the car. Her response made me feel stupid. Me knowing in the back of my head the spotting was probably nothing but needing that reassurance made me feel stupid. We checked in at the hospital and waited for almost 2 hours before being put in an OB triage room. Then... they told me the room was too small and wouldn't let my husband come back. Really?! He is my sanity in these moments. I am much more likely to lose it without him.
So then they come in ask me a few questions, take my vitals, then say they'll do a doppler to check the fetal heart tones. She finds one baby after a long search and repeatedly finding my own heart beat. I then say again (as I had told them when I checked in), "It's twins." "Ohh! Well we'll never be able to be sure we have found both with this," the nurse responds. Ugh. So they go to get the ultrasound machine and then decide finally that the room is in fact big enough (now with a huge machine that wasn't there before) and let my sanity back with me. One of the OB residents came in and quickly (thank god), found both babies, and visualized each heart beating strong.
Even though the whole experience made me feel slightly stupid, I am glad that we went. It allowed me to sleep that night. The spotting lasted through Monday and stopped yesterday. I had my regular 14 week appt yesterday and all seems to still be going well. I really liked the OB that I saw and she allowed plenty of time for all my questions and made me feel less looney. I am in a group of 6 OBs so they try to have you see everyone so you feel comfortable with whoever ends up delivering your baby/ies.
In good news... I scheduled my next visit with the anatomy ultrasound. My hubby is backtracking on our decision to find out the sexes so we have a month to figure that out but the more important thing is making sure they look healthy which will hopefully provide me with some reassurance. I really want to start enjoying this pregnancy and worrying less.
Maybe that should be my new years resolution?
I ended up calling back to the doc on call for my practice who I unfortunately have never met (or fortunately I guess). She was not the most reassuring and that's what I needed at the time, just some reassurance. When I called back and told her the spotting hadn't worsened but I thought I was maybe having some cramping and admitted that part of that feeling was probably due to anxiety she responded, "Well do you want to come in to check for a heart beat on the baby?"
I was immediately offended that she said baby not babies... I had told her I was pregnant with twins multiple times. I know she hasn't met me and doesn't know the details of my pregnancy but I had just told her. I wanted her to tell me what to do or what to think, not leave it up to me. I know I am a ball of anxiety sometimes and my medical knowledge has worsened my fears during this pregnancy but that is her job... to reassure and explain. So I told her "Yea I think so" and we left for the hospital.
I honestly felt stupid as soon as we got in the car. Her response made me feel stupid. Me knowing in the back of my head the spotting was probably nothing but needing that reassurance made me feel stupid. We checked in at the hospital and waited for almost 2 hours before being put in an OB triage room. Then... they told me the room was too small and wouldn't let my husband come back. Really?! He is my sanity in these moments. I am much more likely to lose it without him.
So then they come in ask me a few questions, take my vitals, then say they'll do a doppler to check the fetal heart tones. She finds one baby after a long search and repeatedly finding my own heart beat. I then say again (as I had told them when I checked in), "It's twins." "Ohh! Well we'll never be able to be sure we have found both with this," the nurse responds. Ugh. So they go to get the ultrasound machine and then decide finally that the room is in fact big enough (now with a huge machine that wasn't there before) and let my sanity back with me. One of the OB residents came in and quickly (thank god), found both babies, and visualized each heart beating strong.
Even though the whole experience made me feel slightly stupid, I am glad that we went. It allowed me to sleep that night. The spotting lasted through Monday and stopped yesterday. I had my regular 14 week appt yesterday and all seems to still be going well. I really liked the OB that I saw and she allowed plenty of time for all my questions and made me feel less looney. I am in a group of 6 OBs so they try to have you see everyone so you feel comfortable with whoever ends up delivering your baby/ies.
In good news... I scheduled my next visit with the anatomy ultrasound. My hubby is backtracking on our decision to find out the sexes so we have a month to figure that out but the more important thing is making sure they look healthy which will hopefully provide me with some reassurance. I really want to start enjoying this pregnancy and worrying less.
Maybe that should be my new years resolution?
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