I am having some brown spotting today. I have never had this before.
It is really freaking me out.
It's been a small amount so far & no cramping or pain but I am scared. Really scared. I am 14 weeks today. And we told the whole world this past week about these two little loves. I don't know what I'd do if something happened.
I called my doc's urgent line & she told me that if its been a small amt & no cramping or pain to just take it easy today but call back if there is more bleeding or something changes. I have an appt Tuesday and she said if it is just the tiniest amount of spotting to just keep that appointment but if any more than that I need to call her back.
It doesn't seem to be getting more but just persistent & not stopping. I think I am going to go shower & call her again. I don't think I can make it through the rest of the day like this & then 2 more days. I am really really afraid. I love these guys so much.
Please just let nothing be wrong.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Saturday, December 28, 2013
A Late Merry Christmas To You
I just wanted to say a late very Merry Christmas to you all! And early Happy New Year!
The hubby & I's Christmas lived up to all our best wishes. It was the best Christmas yet. Although I'm sure each year to come will only get sweeter.
The great reveal:
I found a loose sweater to wear Christmas Eve that hid the baby bump pretty well. I also (really for the first time) fake drank- aka filled the hubby's empty beer bottle with water & sipped on it throughout the night. I really wanted to throw my folks off the scent. I think it worked because they were shocked! On Christmas morning we gave my brother and each of my parents their gifts. They included their actual gifts but also for my brother 2 boxes of Uncle Bens Rice & 2 plastic serving spoons, for my mom 2 Nana cookies & an assortment of pairs of other Christmas themed treats (little M&M men ect.), and for my dad 2 bottles of Old Grandad Bourbon & holiday drinking glasses. My brother figured it out as soon as my dad opened his gift and eyed me with a sly grin. My parents were a little slower- I asked my mom the brand of her cookies but she still didn't get it. Then as she was holding the final gift- a wrapped frame with 2 ultrasound photos- one of each bebe, she yells out, "Are you pregnant?! With twins?" I don't think she really heard us say yes because as she pulled out the frame she was still saying, "Is this for real?" We got a video of this moment (on my new fancy Christmas camera- thank you hubby) & it is one I will treasure.
We left after breakfast to drive to my in-laws. The hubby did not want any fun puzzle for them to try to figure out so we had wrapped up another 2 ultrasound photo frame for them. They were also very happy for us & excited. These will be grandchildren 8 & 9 for them but the first living in the same state & within driving not flying distance. So I think they are looking forward to being around to watch them grow. We face timed with his 2 out of town brothers who did not yet know the news. We then got to slowly tell the Hubby's grandma & aunts, uncles, cousins ect over the next few days which was fun.
It was funny how similar people's reactions were, "You're pregnant- congratulations! Twins... Ohhh..." It also got old quick that everyone's first question was "Do twins run in your family?" First, this is a stupid question b/c identical twins are a random event & even fraternal twins don't have a high genetic component & second, does no one realize this is probably more likely related to infertility treatments & therfore might be an awkward question to ask? Apparently the answer to that question is a resounding no. Most people I told the truth- a brief we had a hard time conceiving & were on Clomid which increases your risk of twins. Some I just said no. It was kind of refreshing to tell so many people (with no degree of detail) that we had struggled & also to have multiple people share their own stories of difficulties, multiple miscarriages ect. It felt good putting the subject out there & normalizing it in a way.
All in all this was one helluva Christmas. We feel very blessed.
I hope that you all were able to enjoy (or at least survive) the holidays and that the new year brings peace & hope.
The hubby & I's Christmas lived up to all our best wishes. It was the best Christmas yet. Although I'm sure each year to come will only get sweeter.
The great reveal:
I found a loose sweater to wear Christmas Eve that hid the baby bump pretty well. I also (really for the first time) fake drank- aka filled the hubby's empty beer bottle with water & sipped on it throughout the night. I really wanted to throw my folks off the scent. I think it worked because they were shocked! On Christmas morning we gave my brother and each of my parents their gifts. They included their actual gifts but also for my brother 2 boxes of Uncle Bens Rice & 2 plastic serving spoons, for my mom 2 Nana cookies & an assortment of pairs of other Christmas themed treats (little M&M men ect.), and for my dad 2 bottles of Old Grandad Bourbon & holiday drinking glasses. My brother figured it out as soon as my dad opened his gift and eyed me with a sly grin. My parents were a little slower- I asked my mom the brand of her cookies but she still didn't get it. Then as she was holding the final gift- a wrapped frame with 2 ultrasound photos- one of each bebe, she yells out, "Are you pregnant?! With twins?" I don't think she really heard us say yes because as she pulled out the frame she was still saying, "Is this for real?" We got a video of this moment (on my new fancy Christmas camera- thank you hubby) & it is one I will treasure.
We left after breakfast to drive to my in-laws. The hubby did not want any fun puzzle for them to try to figure out so we had wrapped up another 2 ultrasound photo frame for them. They were also very happy for us & excited. These will be grandchildren 8 & 9 for them but the first living in the same state & within driving not flying distance. So I think they are looking forward to being around to watch them grow. We face timed with his 2 out of town brothers who did not yet know the news. We then got to slowly tell the Hubby's grandma & aunts, uncles, cousins ect over the next few days which was fun.
It was funny how similar people's reactions were, "You're pregnant- congratulations! Twins... Ohhh..." It also got old quick that everyone's first question was "Do twins run in your family?" First, this is a stupid question b/c identical twins are a random event & even fraternal twins don't have a high genetic component & second, does no one realize this is probably more likely related to infertility treatments & therfore might be an awkward question to ask? Apparently the answer to that question is a resounding no. Most people I told the truth- a brief we had a hard time conceiving & were on Clomid which increases your risk of twins. Some I just said no. It was kind of refreshing to tell so many people (with no degree of detail) that we had struggled & also to have multiple people share their own stories of difficulties, multiple miscarriages ect. It felt good putting the subject out there & normalizing it in a way.
All in all this was one helluva Christmas. We feel very blessed.
I hope that you all were able to enjoy (or at least survive) the holidays and that the new year brings peace & hope.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
12 Week Ultrasound & 2nd Trimester Bound
This week was an excellent week on the pregnancy front. I have been hesitant to update about my good news because of all the bad news that seems to be going around here the past couple weeks. It just isn't fair (a lesson I know I should have learned in kindergarten but still irks me to this day).
On Monday, we had our ultrasound "to confirm dates?" which I was pretty damn confident of but I will never turn down an ultrasound. My hubby was actually able to get off work which was awesome. I had felt bad that he would be missing out on seeing them as real babies for the first long look after our sneak preview at my 10 week appt.
They are still in there growing big and strong. So much crazier than the two little dots they were 6 weeks ago. They were measuring 12 weeks 2 days and I was 12 weeks 1 day so basically right on target. As I've mentioned before I have essentially no experience in my medical life looking at ultrasounds except for head ultrasounds of newborns. I do have some experience looks at 20-24 week fetal MRIs (often done when there is a concern noted on the 20 week ultrasound). I made some comments to the tech about their hands and feet because oh my god... they are just so tiny but fully formed 5 fingers/5 toes hands and feet... takes your breath away. Then I said to hubby that their brains looked good. Cue the tech looking at me cross-eyed, I explained that I'm a pediatric neurologist and she laughed and said yes everything looks good.
We didn't get to hear their heart beats this time but she zoomed in on the hearts again to measure and Baby A was 159 bpm and Baby B was 162 bpm.
All in all they looked pretty perfect to me.
We are telling both of our families on Christmas day and I am getting so incredibly excited for their reactions. My belly has really popped this week. I need maternity pants ASAP. I also need to find something to wear today to go shopping with my mom and for the remainder of this week with family until the Christmas reveal to hide this blossoming bump.
Tomorrow I will be 13 weeks. On the eve of the 2nd trimester I am so incredibly thankful for the journey we've had so far and that these two kiddos have decided to stick around (hopefully for the long haul). It is cheesy but the husband and I really could not have asked for anything more for Christmas this year. We are so happy and grateful.
On Monday, we had our ultrasound "to confirm dates?" which I was pretty damn confident of but I will never turn down an ultrasound. My hubby was actually able to get off work which was awesome. I had felt bad that he would be missing out on seeing them as real babies for the first long look after our sneak preview at my 10 week appt.
They are still in there growing big and strong. So much crazier than the two little dots they were 6 weeks ago. They were measuring 12 weeks 2 days and I was 12 weeks 1 day so basically right on target. As I've mentioned before I have essentially no experience in my medical life looking at ultrasounds except for head ultrasounds of newborns. I do have some experience looks at 20-24 week fetal MRIs (often done when there is a concern noted on the 20 week ultrasound). I made some comments to the tech about their hands and feet because oh my god... they are just so tiny but fully formed 5 fingers/5 toes hands and feet... takes your breath away. Then I said to hubby that their brains looked good. Cue the tech looking at me cross-eyed, I explained that I'm a pediatric neurologist and she laughed and said yes everything looks good.
We didn't get to hear their heart beats this time but she zoomed in on the hearts again to measure and Baby A was 159 bpm and Baby B was 162 bpm.
All in all they looked pretty perfect to me.
We are telling both of our families on Christmas day and I am getting so incredibly excited for their reactions. My belly has really popped this week. I need maternity pants ASAP. I also need to find something to wear today to go shopping with my mom and for the remainder of this week with family until the Christmas reveal to hide this blossoming bump.
Tomorrow I will be 13 weeks. On the eve of the 2nd trimester I am so incredibly thankful for the journey we've had so far and that these two kiddos have decided to stick around (hopefully for the long haul). It is cheesy but the husband and I really could not have asked for anything more for Christmas this year. We are so happy and grateful.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Relief...
is two little babies squirming around like crazy in there... moving their little tiny arms and legs to say hello.
Ahhh where do I begin... today was the big "first" prenatal appointment at 10 weeks 2 days. We also met our new OB. I am in love... with our babies and with my new OB. Today was just wonderful in words I will never be able to express.
First a few random moments... I get on the scale and it reads 101. The nurse starts to write it down and tell me to step off and I'm like "Uhh unless I've lost 30 lbs during this pregnancy that is not right." Literally after 5 minutes of trying to zero and re-zero it and weighing me 25 times... first 24 of which were 95-100 lbs (my 8th grade, pre-puberty, 4'11" weight) and finally a correct number. I have gained 5 lbs already... kinda freaked me out but I'm gonna chalk it up to twins and just rejoice in today.
My new OB amazing woman that she is then had the nurse switch us in to the ultrasound room and immediately won me over. She took my history and asked us about our family history ect. and laughed at my worries (in a good way), reassured me and told me what I really need to hear- "You need to be a patient now, not a doctor." True dat. Then she started talking a little bit about twins and said well I'm getting ahead of myself let's take a peak at them, confirm it's still twins (no vanishing twin)... and then magic happened and there they were looking all big and like actual babies instead of just amniotic sacs with a little tiny dot like last time. One of them was kicking the other one in the head- I'm sure this is just the first of many fights I will witness.
We talked some more about my fears and she told me as long as Baby A is head down I can try for a vaginal delivery. She talked about the risk for prematurity and having a back-up plan for work in case I have to go on bed rest or deliver early especially given my job. I told her my initial goal is 32 weeks... I want a "feeder grower" as we call them in the NICU- basically good brain, good lungs just needing time to figure that whole eating thing out... that I can handle. After that my real goal is to make it to 37 weeks- term... that would be fabulous.
She joked with us and told me that really we should just feel so happy and blessed and that most twins are just fine. Then said, you will love them more than you thought possible and started to tear up. I teared up too. She is right... we already do.
Ahhh where do I begin... today was the big "first" prenatal appointment at 10 weeks 2 days. We also met our new OB. I am in love... with our babies and with my new OB. Today was just wonderful in words I will never be able to express.
First a few random moments... I get on the scale and it reads 101. The nurse starts to write it down and tell me to step off and I'm like "Uhh unless I've lost 30 lbs during this pregnancy that is not right." Literally after 5 minutes of trying to zero and re-zero it and weighing me 25 times... first 24 of which were 95-100 lbs (my 8th grade, pre-puberty, 4'11" weight) and finally a correct number. I have gained 5 lbs already... kinda freaked me out but I'm gonna chalk it up to twins and just rejoice in today.
My new OB amazing woman that she is then had the nurse switch us in to the ultrasound room and immediately won me over. She took my history and asked us about our family history ect. and laughed at my worries (in a good way), reassured me and told me what I really need to hear- "You need to be a patient now, not a doctor." True dat. Then she started talking a little bit about twins and said well I'm getting ahead of myself let's take a peak at them, confirm it's still twins (no vanishing twin)... and then magic happened and there they were looking all big and like actual babies instead of just amniotic sacs with a little tiny dot like last time. One of them was kicking the other one in the head- I'm sure this is just the first of many fights I will witness.
We talked some more about my fears and she told me as long as Baby A is head down I can try for a vaginal delivery. She talked about the risk for prematurity and having a back-up plan for work in case I have to go on bed rest or deliver early especially given my job. I told her my initial goal is 32 weeks... I want a "feeder grower" as we call them in the NICU- basically good brain, good lungs just needing time to figure that whole eating thing out... that I can handle. After that my real goal is to make it to 37 weeks- term... that would be fabulous.
She joked with us and told me that really we should just feel so happy and blessed and that most twins are just fine. Then said, you will love them more than you thought possible and started to tear up. I teared up too. She is right... we already do.
Monday, December 2, 2013
20... 20... 24 hours to go...
Tomorrow at this time I will be sitting in my new OB's office for my "first" prenatal appointment. Why is it that the closer the appointment gets the more impatient I become?
Tomorrow I will be 10 weeks & 2 days. Our last update/confirmation on the health & wellbeing of these little munchkins was at 6 weeks 2 days when we found out about baby #2 and heard their beautiful heart beats on the ultrasound. 4 weeks has been a long wait. I am ready. And scared.
I also am hoping, hoping for an ultrasound. My old OB said because it was twins she would definitely get an ultrasound at my next appointment. The nurse at my new office said that probably wouldn't be necessary. It might not be but I would love to see them again.
I have continued to have symptoms so I have assumed they are still in there growing bigger and stronger every day. Some days I have more than others, so on those other days I tend to get worried. Pretty much every night though I have crazy, crazy dreams- extremely vivid sex dreams (which I could probably count on 1 hand how many I've had prior to being pregnant) and then just bizarro dreams that are often scary and wake me up from sleep.
In other news, I am convinced I have a tiny, tiny baby bump. My husband tells me it's just my baseline "beer" gut- thanks husband, you are so sweet. But I think it is more. I went shopping on black Friday to get some sweaters/shirts that would hide this until I am ready to spill the beans. I have decided if all goes well tomorrow I am going to tell my boss hopefully Wednesday or sometime this week before I go out of town for a conference on Thursday night. I have to make some schedule changes and while I hate telling work before my folks and in-laws I am really set on telling them on Christmas and I feel like I should give my work as much notice as possible.
We went to get our Christmas tree yesterday and went to a tree farm and got to cut it down ourselves. We got an 11 foot tree! Spent all day yesterday decorating our tree and living room. I still have to finish the rest of the house but I am getting so excited. Just over 3 weeks until Christmas, I have always loved Christmas but this year I am especially excited! Two of our tree light strands burnt out so I ran to Target last night for more and got 2 more stockings for these little ones... I know they aren't here yet but I couldn't help it.
Everything just has to go well tomorrow because I keep picturing in my head taking down one or both of those stockings and just absolutely losing it. We are so invested in them already that I can't imagine our life without them.
I have made it 4 weeks... 24 hours shouldn't be so bad right?
Tomorrow I will be 10 weeks & 2 days. Our last update/confirmation on the health & wellbeing of these little munchkins was at 6 weeks 2 days when we found out about baby #2 and heard their beautiful heart beats on the ultrasound. 4 weeks has been a long wait. I am ready. And scared.
I also am hoping, hoping for an ultrasound. My old OB said because it was twins she would definitely get an ultrasound at my next appointment. The nurse at my new office said that probably wouldn't be necessary. It might not be but I would love to see them again.
I have continued to have symptoms so I have assumed they are still in there growing bigger and stronger every day. Some days I have more than others, so on those other days I tend to get worried. Pretty much every night though I have crazy, crazy dreams- extremely vivid sex dreams (which I could probably count on 1 hand how many I've had prior to being pregnant) and then just bizarro dreams that are often scary and wake me up from sleep.
In other news, I am convinced I have a tiny, tiny baby bump. My husband tells me it's just my baseline "beer" gut- thanks husband, you are so sweet. But I think it is more. I went shopping on black Friday to get some sweaters/shirts that would hide this until I am ready to spill the beans. I have decided if all goes well tomorrow I am going to tell my boss hopefully Wednesday or sometime this week before I go out of town for a conference on Thursday night. I have to make some schedule changes and while I hate telling work before my folks and in-laws I am really set on telling them on Christmas and I feel like I should give my work as much notice as possible.
We went to get our Christmas tree yesterday and went to a tree farm and got to cut it down ourselves. We got an 11 foot tree! Spent all day yesterday decorating our tree and living room. I still have to finish the rest of the house but I am getting so excited. Just over 3 weeks until Christmas, I have always loved Christmas but this year I am especially excited! Two of our tree light strands burnt out so I ran to Target last night for more and got 2 more stockings for these little ones... I know they aren't here yet but I couldn't help it.
Everything just has to go well tomorrow because I keep picturing in my head taking down one or both of those stockings and just absolutely losing it. We are so invested in them already that I can't imagine our life without them.
I have made it 4 weeks... 24 hours shouldn't be so bad right?
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