Oh the Joys of Clomid and Jealousy...

I have been on Clomid for 4 days now, last day is tomorrow. I am taking it days 3-7 per the doctor's orders with a progesterone test on day 21.

Maybe I am just making excuses but I really feel like yesterday Clomid made me a crazy person.  I was in that state of on the verge of tears the entire day.  So not once, but twice, I was pushed over the edge- for the most trivial things.  And the thing was, I could rationalize with myself that there was no real reason to be as upset as I was but I still could not control it. 

I felt crazy.

Crazier than my baseline semi-crazed state.























Then today I had a really good day- no crazy, no tears. Had a team dinner for the end of the month.  Enjoyed myself.

Then I came home to the torture device otherwise known as facebook.
At least 10 of my friends posted pictures of their fresh (within the last month) babies- check.
1 friend announced their pregnancy- check.
1 friend posted their adorably cute maternity photos with their already here 2 year old son- check.  

Then I climbed under a rock and cried myself to sleep.

Check.

I like to think I am above jealousy and that I am working on no longer feeling sorry for myself. But that would be a lie.

I am jealous.
And sad.
And still sorry for myself.

And still wondering most days why is this so easy for everyone except for us?